Case Studies - Narcissism and Bullying

Narcissism & Bullying
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Case 1.  A private school changed it's security entrance procedures from visual identification to a simple windscreen sticker. A parent of 19 years was stopped and was told procedures had changed, get a sticker. OK.  Then the second guard aggressivly shouted at the parent to get out.  The parent pleaded and the guard allowed the parent to stay and deliver his children inside the school gates.

The two guards reported that the parent was abusive, swearing and nearly ran over one of the guards.  The parent approached the school head (headmaster) to have the school's lawyer retract her accusing and threatening letter.  The parent advised the headmaster that he had in-car road/traffic cameras mounted on the windscreen which recorded the whole incident. The headmaster said he would investigate.  The headmaster reported back to the parent that the accusations were true, that he was abusive, insulting, aggressive, confrontational and swearing at the guards and nearly ran 2 people down.  The headmaster had more than doubled the number of false accusations.  This was the first sign that the headmaster was a bully.  Bullies love trouble and in this case he found a perfect situation.  If the bully cannot find trouble he will create trouble. The parent was an ideal target - a good, kind, gentle, quiet speaking, family man with 6 children.
 
Rather than apologise to the parent for all the false accusations, the headmaster ignored the video evidence and went on the attack.  A bully never apologises.  A bully will fight to win.  The headmaster used a typical technique to further aggravate the victim by not returning phone calls, letters and messages and dragged out making any decision for a further 4 weeks, then accused the victim of other "offenses" such as disobeying orders of the guards (even though permitted to enter) and failing to leave the car park when ordered (even though allowed to stay).  

The director of security rang the parent to accuse him of breaches of security and insisted the parent flaunted and blatantly disregarded security and then commenced to lecture the parent on the need for security just like the lecturing by the headmaster, the president of the school and their lawyers about the need for security.  The parent was ordered to apologise. This is another intimidatory method used by the school Board and the headmaster to harass the parent to submission instead of accepting the in-car video camera evidence proving the parent had done no wrong and apolgise to the parent.

And so the techniques of intimidation, criticism and torment were typical bullying techniques applied to a parent who had been accused of being nothing less than a raving lunatic, shouting, abusive, aggressive and driving dangerously with his children in the car, nearly running over 2 people.  The parent was accused of being a dangerous driver without regard for the safety of other people.  This is a criminal and antisocial behaviour which was extremely hurtful to the parent who has not had a traffic infringement notice or demerit points for 18 years !

It did not finish there.  The school Board of Management backed the headmaster and blocked any attempt by the parent to have the matter heard at Board level. The matter was then referred to the "complaints department" which was none other than the headmaster himself.

Next, the headmaster employed another lawyer to accuse the parent of using his in-car road/traffic cameras to covertly film children in breach of the Child Protection Legislation.  The school President also accused the parent of the same breaches.  Both said it was their obligation to report the parent to the authorities.  These threats could potentially destroy the reputation of the victim and his family.

The parent had written more than 60 pages of letters to put his case for an apology from the school, employed 3 lawyers, spent thousands of dollars until receiving a full apology in writing via a court sponsored mediation.

Normally, the bully would have worn the victim down until he gave up or disappeared.  That is their intention.  Narcissists, psychopaths and bullies are all the same.

In this case the President and members of the school Board have openly supported the bully headmaster and tried to bury the victim.  As usual, it is always easier to bury the victim than deal with a bully headmaster.

As it turned out, there were many good school teachers and parents bullied by the headmaster until they left the school.  This makes the headmaster a serial bully and a psychopath.  

Case 2.  An English teacher of 15 continuous years at the same school, much loved by parents and children.  The headmaster has been at the school for 4 years and half the teachers have already left.  The headmaster has irregular staff meetings after school between 4 and 5.30pm.  The English teacher made an appointment with her dentist for a root canal procedure.  Her tooth ache was so bad, she needed the root canal procedure as soon as possible. She took an appointment made available because of a cancellation at 4.30pm after school.

The headmaster called for a staff meeting without notice.  The English teacher excused herself from attending the staff meeting.  The headmaster told the English teacher to cancel her root canal treatment as the staff meeting was more important and said that if the teacher wanted to continue working at the school, she must attend.  He said it was important to show she wanted to be part of the team.  He gave her an ultimatum.  If she did not attend the staff meeting, then "don't bother coming back to school".

The agenda for discussion at the staff meeting did not touch on any matters of the English syllabus, only the science subjects.  If the headmaster was even slightly flexible he would have excused the English teacher, knowing that English was not going to be discussed, and furthermore, sympathised with the teacher trying to talk to her class when she had a bad tooth ache.

Next morning the English teacher returned to school, only to find another teacher taking her class.  She checked the staff roster and could see she had been removed from all classes.  She was absolutely devastated.  The headmaster could not be found or contacted so she went home.  She returned to school the following morning but the temporary teacher was again taking her class.  The English teacher finally located the headmaster, who said that he would try and organise another class and advised the teacher to return in another week.

The headmaster reported to the school Board that the teacher had a history of absenteeism, having failed to attend for one week without reason, in breach of her employment conditions.  The headmaster gave an ultimatum to the English teacher to resign or he would terminate her employment and write a detrimental report to destroy any chance of her ever obtaining a job as a teacher again.  The  teacher would not be eligible for a lump sum termination pay if she resigned.  For her love of teaching and children, she decided to resign and avert the threat to her character, professionalism and integrity and forgo her financial entitlements.  

The headmaster has shown he is a serious bully and master manipulator.  To achieve the dismissal of the teacher, the headmaster has lied multiple times, without conscience or emapthy.  

Case 3.  A narcissistic neighbour was territorial about the street frontage, putting messages on vehicle windscreens and letter boxes saying "park with consideration to others....".  Really, it meant 'don't park outside my house'.  He confronted neighbours to move their car, especially if it was an older car (more than 6 years old) "because it reduced the aesthetics of the street".

He or his wife (following orders) picked up litter from the nature strip and gutter and put it in letterboxes or at the front door of neighbours, and sometimes confronting the neightbour to show respect for the street and pick up their rubbish. Parking tickets which had been disgarded were picked up by the narcissist and afixed to the windscreen of one neighbour in particular that he has set his sights on.  His vengence for obedience increased.  Next, dog droppings on his nature stip were pegged and a sign erected warning dog walkers not to leave droppings.  The same dropping then appeared in the letterbox of his target, even though they did not have a dog.

The narcissist became quite abusive with the selected neighbour who was not complying and doing as ordered.  He treatened to kill and destroy the neighbour a number of times.  One night he tried to punch the neighbour in the face in front of the neighbour's wife and children.  A police report was filed, to which the narcissist denied, as expected.  Then claimed the victim should be charged for assaulting the environment.  A narcissist always has a twist on the situation and will lie to defend his cause.

An apprehended violence order (AVO) was taken out against the narcissist who responded with an AVO against the victim because he "feared for his safety".  This is how a narcissist works.  The judge threw out the narcissist's AVO and lectured the narcissist on the laws of parking and his moral obligations.  




  

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